Downchuck Edition

In this week’s episode, Pete Hegseth puts the A hole in “a holy war,” a top-level FEMA official makes up a lie about being the worst X-Man ever, and we’ll make sure our obituary skills are warmed up for when the big one happens.
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Headlines:
Mikey Weinstein’s full of shit, but Hegseth is still being WAY too Christian about killing Muslims: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/20/us/politics/hegseth-christianity-military.html
Christian Right congresswoman wants you to put your abortion in a potty colander: https://www.wonkette.com/p/very-sane-congresswoman-wants-you
Russel Brand baptized a guy in the penguin pool at a Christian zoo: https://www.thetimes.com/uk/religion/article/russell-brand-baptism-penguin-enclosure-zoo-kvnd9pmb5
Top FEMA official says he once teleported to a Waffle House: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/20/fema-gregg-phillips-waffle-house