#3686: Dehydrated

Auction Week Wednesday is here, and Mike’s prized watches, circus ringmaster hat, and the legendary seatbelt extender are ready to find new homes—assuming anyone meets the reserve. Mike shares a scary but hopeful update about Linda’s upcoming heart surgery and reminds everyone that feeling fine is no substitute for getting checked. Then National Lasagna Day starts a ricotta fight, dehydration explains decades of irritability, and the gang learns why second-screening has turned America into a nation of professional rewinders. Tony Romo’s roadside stop sends the show across the gore and deep into the mechanics of field sobriety, while a spectacularly bad snake handler proves that confidence and competence are very different reptiles. Finally, therapy goes competitive, 1973 Jeopardy! looks like it was built in a basement, and Kermit loses his voice in a joke that may get us banned from Sesame Street.

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