Eulogy of Jonathan by Aileen (Youngest Sister) - partial recording
Hello everyone,
My name is Aileen, and I’m Jonathan’s youngest sister. True to Jonathan’s style, I completed this just as I stepped out of the coach and with 10% left of battery on his laptop.
Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for just being with me and my family the last three days and for sharing in our grief. Beyond, the grieving, thank you for sharing with us his life. We are not only here to mourn his passing, to celebrate his life, but also to piece together his life. There were some that were with him during his birth, there where some that were with him during his passing, and there were some that were with him during different phases of his life. For example, siblings and cousins were closer to him during his earlier childhood, and then there were some that were close to him during his primary and secondary school days, some close to him during his army days, and throughout his career as a baker – ops Jon would have corrected me, he would say chef de patisserie. The last few days we were piecing together his life, for example, most of us didn’t know about his epic end of year party and some of the aunties were like bo jio. He gave of us a lot of firsts, my cousins and his friends shared with me that he was the leader of the pack, always being the first in everything. Being the first to teach them how to get drunk, being the first to teach them poker, being the first to teach them to play truant, being the first to own a car, being the first to get a full time job, being the first to inspire us to pursue our dreams.
My first memories of Jonathan were with him, holding my hand and walking along the over pass of Queenstown Mrt. We'll walk and then I'll hit the over pass and then it'd hurt. I was five then. We were always close to each other, closer than we knew. I think I've secretly admired him all my life, and then it became not so secret, when I started hanging out with his friends after Saturday service and he started hanging out with mine, which by the way, my friends immediately loved him. All of a sudden, his friends were mine, and mine was his. That could only mean one thing, I was matured enough or he was childish enough – I would like to believe it’s a combination of both. But Jon would insist he was child like, not childish. But it’s true, he was always a child at heart.
There were a few things that were important to Jon in his life:
His food - He'll say this is damn unhealthy la, I love it. And then continue to stuff a whole packet of tie dan brought from Taiwan and down it with a can of beer. Yes, I could not understand why he loved beer so much, but he loved it, and so I never questioned. And I think we all can count the number of vegetables he had in his lifetime with one hand. He was also very excessive when it came to food and I think he got this character trait from my mother, because he loves to over order. There was once during my 19th birthday, he brought me to this restaurant in Sembawang called Buckaroos. Even though there was only the two of us, he ordered a steak, ribs, buffalo wings, onion rings and fried Portobello mushrooms to share. Then I told him, err, I think it’s a lot for two people don’t you think? He reply, never mind we already came all the way and it’s your birthday so we should order the best. I think you can tell by now that he really doted on me.
Another thing that Jonathan was proud of were of his pastries (he always claims he makes the best croissants - oh he always hated it when I mispronounced his croissants. He was also a unique person, always liking the most exotic flavors - I wonder if you ever got to taste his chili chocolate tart. I hated that. But yes, he really took pride in making every single pastry and I always wondered why so I ask him. And then he’ll say, the look on people’s face when they enjoyed his pastries was priceless – you see when it came to Jonathan, it was always about others, seldom about himself. When we were at the initial stages of planning for him to go France, financing was the biggest consideration. He would tell me about how the banks had one by one slowly rejected him but I told him, Jon you don’t have to worry, God will provide, He always does. Actually I didn’t really have to tell him that because he was the one who always reassured me. You see, Jon’s life is a testament of God’s love and providence. I still remember it was after Saturday Service, and we were having our usual car conversations and towards our favorite zhichar sumkee restaurant at telok blangah, and while turning left at the zebra crossing towards pasir panjang, he told me that his cell group leaders had actually spoken to him, and told him that they had received a huge sum of money and they were really thinking how they wanted to bless somebody with it. Then at that point of time, Jonathan’s plan to study overseas came up. Without hesitation, they told my brother, we want to bless somebody with it. They told him that he could take as long as he could as long as he needed to pay back and interest free. You see, that’s the amazing thing about the God we love, He always provides. Also, over the past few days, so many of you have given so generously to Jon, and because I know Jon would want this, I am going to use the money we collected to repay the couple, so that all of us here would have a part to play in giving Jonathan the opportunity to study overseas, so they all of us could say we had a chance to help Jonathan pursue his dreams.
Another thing that Jon was always fond of were his books. He loved his books. One of my fondest memories of him would be seeing him sitting outside Kinokuniya eating two Paul croissants. If you’ve ever been to my house, you’d know what a mess it is, but in a little corner on the top of his television neatly lays his Neil Gaiman series. He always told me that those were his favorite and that I had to read it.
Jon was also very big on musicals. HE LOVED MUSICALS, I cannot emphasis more. He said it had acting, singing, dancing, it had the whole package. Whenever I went to watch a musical, I would always text him to make him envious, and then I realized, it’s not as though he hadn’t already seen them all. During my 19th birthday, my brother brought me to watch my first musical ever, it was the Lion King. He asked me to use his card to purchase the tickets, and me being the very thrifty me, wanted to help him save money and buy the student tickets. Then he told me I was insane because he said that when you watch a musical, you must watch from the very best seats otherwise there’s no point it watching at all. He said it was my birthday and he wanted to get me only the best. He always gave me the best. My brother was a very cultured and learned man, and I think I’ve always secretly admired him for that too.
One of the most important thing to him was his children from CM. I'll always ask him, why do you want to teach the primary 6s when it's so difficult. He'd say because the tweenage years are the most important. And the kids loved him - the thing about Jon is that he always maintained that he was a ten year old stuck in a 33 year old body. Year after year, he’ll burst his Christmas budget for his kids, and he was always the spoil market Sunday school teacher. And he always made it a point to personalize his gifts, because he believed that everybody should always feel special.
It goes without saying that he loved his friends so dearly. People always say that I love my friends, but they don't understand that that's only a fraction of what I've learnt from him, he always loved his friends and if friends went one mile for my friends, he would go ten. He taught me that friends are the greatest investment you can have, and he proved me right by seeing how many of you are here today. He always chose to see the best in people as well. He taught me to be earnest and always be generous to people. He was always generous in time thought, action and love for all those around him. Doesn't matter if it inconvenienced him, he would do it anyway. That is how much of a people person he was.
And without a shadow of doubt, our family was the most important people to him. More often than not, I always feel so regretful and sorry that we caused him so much hurt, but he always tells me that we were his greatest pride and joy. All his life he always felt that he was responsible for us, but he didn't have to. His heart was always for his family, and all his life, he’s been secretly praying for the breakthrough and I’m glad he got it through me. My heart is always so full when I think about how God gave me the opportunity to be so close to him. But sometimes, I feel so guilty because I have so many wonderful memories with Jon that my other family members didn’t get to have. He bought me my first flat white coffee from Forty Hands. He would always lend me with his car when I first passed driving and even though I had damaged it so many times (without telling him). Then we would go for supper with my friends and they would expose me, but he'd know anyway. He always knew. Instead of being angry over the damages I made to his precious car, he'd just want to know that I was safe and that beyond anything thing else, I was the most precious to him.
Jon always spoke to me about the importance of family, and I knew someday he would have a family of his own. He would have been an amazing husband, father, grandfather in his family. And God is good, in his perfect timing, He gave him Jane. We often find ourselves asking the question, how do we really know if she’s the one? With Jane, Jon was willing to find out, he was always ready to put his needs before hers, he always wanted to make happy because her happiness was his happiness. Needless to say, it’s tearing Jon apart that he has to leave her grieving, he would want so much to be here with us. But God’s ways are always higher than our ways, which no human mind can comprehend. It always seem like the wrong time, but in the grander scheme of things, when we look back on our lives, we see how every string was woven in a big tapestry of his life. We may not know the answer now, but God knows, and when we all get reunited in heaven, we’ll know.
Jane asked, where was God’s miracle? But Jane you see, you were God’s miracle to Jon. That was God’s miracle. When he didn’t know if he was good enough, you assured him. You gave him the opportunity to love somebody, you gave him an opportunity to walk through life’s journey with somebody, and you gave him the opportunity to know that when he was going to go home to be with the Lord that he didn’t have to go alone. But it is for that very reason, that I feel so regretful and sorry. I always think to myself that I may have lost 23 years of my life that I spent with him, but you lost a lifetime that you could have spent with him. But you know what? There’s always a silver lining in every cloud, because he spent the remaining years of his lifetime with you. He finished his lifetime with you. Jane, we may have the most of him, but you had the best of him. And because of you, his life was fulfilled.
And to our dearest mommy, you are and you always are the single most important person to all of us. My silly mom gathered Fabian and a few of us just now and asked, did Jon ever say he was angry or upset with me? To that I say, mom yes, he was very upset he couldn’t love you more, he was upset because you to hurt because of him, he was upset he had to leave you first. And if there was anything, just one thing he could do to make it better, he would. If you’ve noticed by now, your children are defined by being as selfless, content, strong and positive, and that is only because we got it from you. Jon told us this quote before, he quotes Abraham Lincoln said, “all that I am and all that I will hope to be, I owe it to my angel mother.” Hahaha he did say it in the context of his messy car. But jokes aside, you are the one who made Jon who he is today and for that he is forever grateful to you. He wanted me to tell you, I love you mom, more than you can possibly imagine.
Whenever Jon and I conversed, I would always say “actually if I had done this or actually if I should have done that”, and Jon would tell me, “Don’t focus on the what if, because you cannot change anything about that, focus on the what is”. His passing came as a surprise to many of us. And many of us might feel “if only I had met him, if only I had told him”. What Jon would have want us to do is to remove all the what ifs or actually I should have. He would want you to know that he had no regrets, he would want you to know that he loved and he was very loved.
Some of you might be wondering why are there were balloons around the sanctuary and why the atmosphere was so lively, because that's a reflection of who Jon was as a person. He was always unconventional and he always wanted things to be happy. If we had a conversation, he'll probably say that he'll want his wake to be a party, because he never liked being ordinary, he was always that special.
Jonathan has done more things than a single individual would in a life time, he’s touched more lives than some of us would in a life time, and he has experience more than what some of us would feel in a life time, and when I look back I know he would look back say, “I did it. I've lived a live with no regrets”. Let us remember him as a man who never stopped to pursue his dreams. Jonathan taught me to be a courageous person, to be a stronger person than I am. Jonathan’s favorite verse was Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” He taught me what it was to be generous, he taught me what it was to be loved. My number one supporter in this whole world hasn't left and he will never leave me. He will always remain in the ...