From lost to leading. How to navigate life changes when the world throws you a curve ball
We don’t believe there is some chap with a beard in the sky deciding stuff for everyone.
We don’t buy into some magical force called ‘Karma’ that equalises the bad things people do
We don’t put my faith in ‘The Universe’ bringing me what I need.
Yet, as life continued to throw enough spanners in the works for Carolyn to fill a toolbox, it frequently felt like her destiny was not her own. She often wondered over the years whether there was any point in having a plan because someone, somewhere clearly had a different plan for her. Or so she thought.
Of course, there are many things that happen that are out of our control. Life events, chance happenings, or actions of others that we just cannot legislate for. Being honest, has life turned out how we expected for any of us?! We doubt it.
Even though Carolyn tried to be a ‘good girl’. She did everything she thought she ‘should’ in her career. That led her to the boardrooms of some of the World’s largest employers. But all the while she also hid some secrets. Whilst professionally she was an expert in HR and Change Management, she was secretly tired of the bullsh*t. Tired of playing the game by someone else’s rules.
And she had zero self-worth. Her personal life was a disaster - from porn-addicted boyfriends to marriage to a lover who was more like a brother, then onto a narcissistic and coercive partner who left her homeless in the week she lost a job I loved.
There were a lot of curve balls in her life!
As for Jo, she struggled with chronic people pleasing – throughout her career and life in general. It’s why she and I ‘get’ each other at a profound level.
Jo, too, found it hard to say “no” so she overworked - almost into an early grave. Jo’s imposter voice will be familiar to many women; it kept telling her she “wasn’t good enough”. She was waiting to get found out at any moment. She believed she had to prove myself, over and over. Professionally this was how we both progressed in our careers. It came with a cost. Burn out, exhaustion and a constant battle with our mental health, which, for Jo, led to an on/off relationship with anti-depressants (that of course no-one knew about). On the outside people thought we were confident. In control. That we each ‘had it all’. On the inside it was a whole different story.
Like so many, Jo played smaller than her capabilities. Not going for jobs because she didn’t tick all the requirements – only to discover someone got appointed who ticked even fewer boxes. Not asking for a pay rise - only to learn that more junior colleagues were being paid more. Not offering opinions or ideas for fear of embarrassing herself - only to listen to others get plaudits for their ill-thought-through ideas.
If you relate to any of this, this episode is for you.
It's called From lost to leading. How to navigate changes when the world throws you curve balls.
You can also download our guide that accompanies this episode
From lost to leading https://mailchi.mp/de6096ba9b7b/7twdzi7df0
You can also follow Carolyn Hobdey and Jo Britton on Instagram @midlife_mistress @jobritton.mojo